will you miss me?

this tuesday it starts. it snuck up on me... more quickly than other years. christmas.... you christmas season you... okay so christmas doesnt start on tuesday but my travel does. tuesday im leaving trujillo and thursday i will be basking in the company of friends i havent seen in a year. a year.... i cant believe its been a year. sometimes it only feels like a few days other times it feels like a few years. im divided in my feelings... im ready to see friends and family, but im not ready to leave peru (i know i know.. its only a month, but its a month... but its only a month... a month?) can we just all meet somewhere in between? ah, it was worth a try. my dreams recently have been a strange mix of friends met in peru and friends from college but set in wv... or friends from when i was a kid mixed with college friends but in peru... its getting me all confused. i guess thats me compartmentalizing my life and it screaming to be pleasantly joined at the corners of their maps and memories. ...it could make for an interesting painting.

there are lots of things i know that im going to miss this next month, people routines and food that have become parts of my life as i have spent the past year adjusting and readjusting, so this month when i crash back into life living in the states its going to be interesting to see if i miss my rice at lunch, or eating starch with starch on top of starch. i dont know. im curious. about if when i get to west virginia will i be able to sleep because it will be so quiet and dark, there wont be a taxi party going on outside my window and there wont be street lights streaming in through my curtain. im curious about if i will miss my bed ...if it will be strange to sleep on a mattress thats not actually a thin piece of foam? over wooden boards and cardboard to soften up the wood. my bed and i have gotten to be quite content with one another. when i moved to this house in September i wasnt sure about it, but over time weve gotten used to spending sleep together.

however unsure i am about some things.... im pretty positive that im excited about taking a hot shower... and not taking water from a barrel at night to flush the toilet or to wash my face or wash dishes or do anything else that requires even an ounce of water. ive gotten used to it being a part of my routine.... but im excited about it going on vacation for a month. whose house will i take my first shower in in the states? i might have to pay for your water bill. ha.

all in all... im going home! i hope its ready, and i hope i'm ready.... christmas is almost here!!!